Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
