Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
