she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
