Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
