If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
