so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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