She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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