it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
