Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
