If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
