just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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