I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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