I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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