don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
