Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
