its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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