I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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