I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
