omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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