He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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