glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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