He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
