You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
