So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
