I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
