imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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