So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
