I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
