did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize