And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
