look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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