I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
