sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
either way he was missing a nipple.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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