p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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