Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
