Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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