EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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