Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
