my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
