He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
