proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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