she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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