the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
