i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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