addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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