one two three fourrrrnication!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
