Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
