Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
