Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
