So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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