You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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