Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
