Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
