Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
