the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
