Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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