Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're like the curious george of whores
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
