She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
