So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
