I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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