Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
